Ranking Black Mirror Episodes: Part 2
Posted 02/26/2021 02:25PM

Back, back again we are in my room writing this article, and I'm ranking every Black Mirror episode. In case you didn't want to go back and read my previous article, trust me I wouldn't either. Here's a refresher,

22. The Waldo Moment

21. Arkangel

20. Shut Up and Dance

19. Rachel, Jack and Ashley Too

18. Playtest

17. Crocodile

16. Smithereens

15. Be Right Back

14. Men Against Fire

13. Hated in the Nation

And onward we move, to complete the list once and for all

12. White Bear

What really is there to say about this episode. It's almost impossible to rank, just in the way the events shake out. The basic story goes, woman wakes up, she doesn't know who she is or where she is, and evil, sadistic strangers are hunting her with guns, and generally the type of stuff evil, sadistic people carry on them. She runs around and no one will help her or talk to her they're just filming her on their phones and it's rather confusing. Long story short, crazy ending, crazy crazy twist, um yeah. It's hard to explain, have a couple of problems with the logistics of things but overall it really gets you thinking and it had me for a while after rewatching. Desensitization to violence and how we deal with justice, I mean this is big stuff right here. Watch it. I feel like I should have it higher but something about it. I don't know, twelve it is.

11. Striking Vipers

Disclaimer: Do not watch this with your parents. It will become very awkward very quickly. On the other hand, I liked it. Of all the episodes this is the one where I could offer up the least explanation for its ranking on this list. Anthony Mackie is always a plus, I don't know I just enjoyed this episode for whatever reason. What I enjoyed the most was probably making fun of Ant as he continued to neglect his wife for dumb-dumb reasons, and I can't fault it for being considerably unintentionally funny. Call it a guilty pleasure.

10. San Junipero

San Junipero is a good episode of television and Black Mirror and many people regard it as one of, if not the best episode of Black Mirror. As you can tell by its placement on the list, it's not quite there for me. I think the cinematography, the music, the aesthetic throughout is really well done, but I don't actually know how compelling the story itself is until the technology aspect is introduced. I think the way they incorporate that technology is smooth and very mellow compared to other episodes, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I do have some big problems with the ending though, and I know people like to say it was a "happy ending" because they slapped some Belinda Carlisle over it and called it a day but I would tend to disagree with that notion. Still good tho.

9. Black Museum

While some would call it a poor man's White Christmas, I would call it a poor man's White Christmas. As you'll see though White Christmas is a fantastic work of television so it still slots in at the top 10. I think the creators of the show, creator Charlie Brooker being the focal point of that, are very, very creative. A three-pronged story within an anthology series lends itself to that creativity. That's what that is and while on their own these three stories wouldn't be very highly ranked I think the simple fact of being able to bring them together in the end in a coherent story is laudable. Douglas Hodge, he does fantastic in my opinion, a great narrator and generally detestable guy. Letitia Wright is obviously a proven actor, so she pulled her own weight and more. Though at some points the story did drag a bit, get needlessly dark or dreary perhaps, and maybe some reused technology from previous episodes, I think Black Museum works.

8. Hang the DJ

Maybe the episode containing the most upbeat and positive qualities of any Black Mirror episode, I enjoyed this one quite a bit. First of all, the two leads, Google tells me they go by Georgina Campbell and Joe Cole, have fantastic chemistry, some of the best in the series. I also appreciate world-building in Black Mirror episodes, and this episode creates a strange, distinctive, and intriguing world. It also has a clear theme, finding love in the digital age, which is explored in insightful and often humorous ways. Bam. Analysis. One thing holding it back is the lack of edge that really makes a great Black Mirror episode, which isn't really its fault. Also, the ending is kind of diverting and weird, so ye be warned.

7. The National Anthem

In the aboriginal Black Mirror episode, the concept is simple. Princess Susannah, a beloved member of the Royal Family is kidnapped. The kidnapper's demands are simple, the Prime Minister of Britain has to do dirty deeds with a pig on live television, or the Princess dies. I mean that's enough explanation, right? WiNK is going R-rated baby, I present to you the inaugural article. As a brief intermission, ask yourself this dear reader, would you? While completely set in our current day, the concept alone allows for great drama and tension. It's insane to see how social media and the court of public opinion influence events in this episode, and while the ending seems a little bit cheap to me I do laud it for its merits in storytelling.

6. Nosedive

World! Building! I love it, and I love this episode for what it does in that aspect. The visual presentation is pretty stunning, in its pastels and slightly off-colored world it takes place in. Performances are never a problem in Black Mirror, Bryce Dallas Howard kind of carries the episode on her back, though as she is the clear main protagonist I guess that should be assumed. I also definitely appreciate its message, how we're all so caught up in our self-image that sometimes we forget to actually live, ya know. I'm a victim to it, we all are. To boot, I think the ending is pretty darn satisfying as well. Well worth the watch.

5. USS Callister

Great visuals, vibrant colors and an episode that utilizes CGI for once. It looks pretty damn good to be honest and clearly more money was put into this than other episodes, thankfully it showed. This is Black Mirror Star Trek, pretty much, though obviously it is very much different and there's some extremely dark crap that lets you know what TV show you're watching again. The plot moves at a good pace with an undeniably compelling story. This episode is very, very, very hard to dislike. It diverts expectations and throws you for some twists and turns. Ye. Five. On the List.

4. The Entire History of You

I feel like the top four are kind of in a tier of their own, maybe just a little above the rest. With that being said, The Entire History of You is the last of that tier, but by no means not a great Black Mirror episode. In the future memory implants allow humans to record everything seen, heard, or done. The implementation of technology is genius, the story flows like a cold-water mountain river stream. Toby Kebbell plays maybe my favorite character on the entire show, absolutely nailing his performance. We see his life spiral into chaos, we see how this technology impacts his life, how the past haunts him, and us all to a degree. It's disheartening. It's hard to watch at some points, but that's Black Mirror. It's filmed beautifully and the ending is mwah, just mwah.

3. White Christmas

A rich man's Black Museum, every single one of White Christmas' stories works better, and the overall story weaves together absolutely beautifully. Jon Hamm is funny, the story is entertaining at times, thought-provoking at others. The technology - interesting, the ending - just absolutely makes you want to sit in your room alone and contemplate life. I mean seriously morbidly depressing ending on this one. Yet at the same time- satisfying? Yes, I think it is. I love the three-story structure, so it's no surprise this one makes the top three.

2. Fifteen Million Merits

Just watch it. Why do I have to do all the work? It's fantastic, so watch it plz. Thank you :)

1. Metalhead

I love this episode probably way more than anyone else does, but I don't care. I will shout it from the rooftops. Metalhead is fantastic. Fantastic. #1. The story goes like this: Evil, terminator dogs with shotguns for arms hunt a woman. That's really it, there really isn't a story, almost no dialogue, practically no characters. So why is it so high? I mean quite frankly it is just absolutely exhilarating and so frighteningly unsettling, I can't help but revel in its dystopia. It's shot in black and white, which I thought I wouldn't like before watching but now realize only adds to the aesthetic. These terminator dogs are absolutely terrifying, I mean terrifying, and their only purpose seems to be killing stuff. There's something so blissful about the silence in the lack of characters and dialogue, not to mention Maxine Peake's characters being so incredibly resourceful and enjoyable to watch. The ending is as depressing as any ending you'll find out there, which I can appreciate so greatly in the right instances, this being one of them. In a word, bleak. Overwhelmingly bleak, but part of that is what makes it so freaking good. Lastly, some people say the very end reveal is dumb, I DON'T CARE. Let it be dumb but I don't give a flying goose. (Writer's Note: The soundtrack is absolutely awesome, so terrifying) Truly deserving of the number one spot.

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